How Dreams Die

I read Zaidel B’s “How dreams die” today. He was never one of my favorite MI columnists but this one strikes a chord. As much as it is a tad too depressing for early morning reading, it is also very true.

Read full article here: http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/index.php/opinion/zaidel-baharudin/51930-how-dreams-die

I wanted to write a similar piece. I will still… but for now I just want to add to his.

I think many of us do not live our own lives, let alone dreams. We are living other people’s dreams, making them rich in the process, while we, live monotonous lives, barely making ends meet. I don’t know about you, but this doesn’t sound like a very pleasant dream to me.

Some might say that I am being ungrateful by making such statements, that I should be thankful and happy with what I get (and shut the hell up).

I am thankful. But is it wrong to dream for bigger things? Isn’t that a humanly thing to do? Plus, who says that by making it big, one will automatically turn bad? Why must that be the case? The way I see it, being wealthy opens up new windows to be philanthropic.

No matter where you are now in this ephemeral life, I suggest you NEVER abandon your dreams. Pursue them, or die trying.

Why I Hate Manchester United

People in general like to associate themselves with something relevant to them. To me, choosing which football team to support says more than it does on the surface such as admiration to certain players or manager. I believe each team has a unique set of characteristics, values, cultures — traditions some might say. And people would choose the team that best describe themselves. It could be tied to one’s self-identity, ideals, or even struggles.

When I see Manchester United, I see arrogant, pompous, center-of-attention, over achievers who would stop at nothing to be champions. They are full of themselves, self-absorbed, egocentric. They are the ultimate narcissists of not just football, but all of sports. They have no mercy towards their opponents. They have no hesitancy whatsoever in brandishing and using their killer instincts, which they have in mother lode. Even when they are behind (scoreline), they show no less confidence, never intimidated. Their never-say-die qualities shine at the best possible moments — in those dying minutes of a match. They would never accept losing of any kind.

As much as I hate them, unfortunately for me, those are the characteristics of champions. If we talk about only footballing skills, many teams got them as skills can be learned relatively easily by people of athletic ability. Mentality of a champ on the other hand, is hard to come by. It is more art than science and Sir Alex has mastered that art at Man U. He is the Jedi master, the maestro. He is the (red-nosed) devil behind Red Devils.

This art of a champ extends to fields beyond sporting pitches, with business being one of the better examples. One cannot deny the ruthlessness of Steve Jobs with the success of Apple. Same with Gates with Microsoft, Trump with his Organization, Branson with Virgin, to name a few. These personalities are tough negotiators, cunning entrepreneurs, artful masters of deceptions in the business world. They can’t be defied — they possess the same champions’ traits as Man U’s.

I am NOT like Manchester United. Though I do wish to be a champ nevertheless, in my own pursuit. But without those champ qualities, can I still be successful? Do I need to be ruthless to make it big? What if those characteristics go against my nature? Am I fighting a pointless battle?

Bored? Try Googling Yourself!

I do it once in a while — googling myself. Just to see if anyone had posted naked pictures of me. Not that I ever took any. But seriously, with good Photoshop-ing skills, anything is possible these days. Not only can you be “naked”, you can even be a sexy centaur (if that’s what you’re into).

As for googling my full legal name, I found almost nothing even remotely connected to me. Phew! This is one of the advantages of having a set of common names — you can easily be inconspicuous. Besides, I prefer to remain unknown, especially in the cyber world. Writing this blog is probably counter-intuitive to that idea, but give me a break… I am not perfect!

After my name, I would google (yes, this has been made an official verb) my wife’s name. I think it would be a much bigger horror to find her “naked” picture on the internet. Something I wish would never happen even if the picture was a poorly Photoshop-ped one.

If I was really bored, I would next google the names of the people I know. The chance is high that YOU are at the top of my list. The fact that you read this blog means we know each other pretty well and I am very much interested to know what the NET has to offer about you!

So far, however, I have not found anything too revealing about people I know (it’s your turn to be going “Phew!” now), which is comforting because this means that the people I know are generally discreet about their personal information, much like myself.

Nevertheless, some people are more forthcoming with their net identities. Some even gladly post the best photos of themselves. Again, Google has made this very easy to find. I do not have problems with this, as long as this is what they really want. Anti-social me would not do such a thing, however. But being a borderline recluse, I realize that I am in the minority.

So if you’re bored, try googling yourself!

LTI – Lost Time Idiocy

In my industry (as in many others), there’s this infamous acronym — LTI which stands for Lost Time Injury. It is an HSE accident reporting statistic which refers to the number of fatality or lost work day cases.

This number means and serves well, until people (mainly the management) become obsessed with it. To be specific, they are obsessed with it being always ZERO – for as long as no one dies in a manner that is so blatantly obvious, no-way-to-cover-it-up, an LTI case.

In my 1st job, there were several accidents that were easily classified as LTI’s under normal circumstances but were covered-up to keep the good zero running. The worst one involved one of my closest friends. He fell one floor from an open grating (not barricaded) onto another layer of metal gratings (he was working on a 7-story reactor tower).

He broke not one but few ribs but never reported the case. When I asked why, he said he didn’t want to be blamed for tarnishing the safety record, specifically the zero LTI, for which employees got rewarded at the end of each LTI-free year. It was the 8th year running and the rewards got bigger as the years passed. It was a cheapo back-pack that year but everyone was going gaga over it (or any free gift for that matter).

So my friend did not report his LTI at the risk of being scorned by others for denying them of their 8 years LTI-free gifts (may I say again it was a cheapo back-pack?).

I was willing to bet however, even if he DID report the accident, it was still going to be made a “minor” one by the management. He then would be asked to take normal leave (annual or days off instead of medical), in order for the zero LTI to be preserved.

But God is great, the following year, a gardener (contractor) got stung by a bee and took 3 days of medical leave afterward (without knowing the consequences this would have on the much guarded zero LTI number). There was not enough time for the management to cover this up and zero LTI was reset to…  zero years!

In my 2nd job, I witnessed even more LTI cases which were brushed off as “minor accidents” or slyly “managed” to become normal leave from work instead of medical ones. In fact, I got injured once on the rig. I was on the rig floor pretending to work hard by removing some screws that I had just tightened and tightening some other screws that were already tight.

As I was pushing the screwdriver hard (using both hands and some of my body weight), I slipped and hit the sharpest part of the equipment I was running into the well. Three of my left fingers (which were inside a glove) were badly cut. I took off the glove as it was turning red. My blood were pouring. I used my right hand to clasp hard on the wounds to stop the bleeding (and significant pain). I asked my partner to take over and I went “hiding” behind the drill pipe stands.

The company man was just behind me when it happened but he somehow missed the incident. But soon after, he called me and ask for the shear screws which I removed from the equipment. The screws were still in my bloody left hand but they were clean! I came out from hiding and handed over the screws to him — quickly so that he wouldn’t notice the bloodiness of it all. He didn’t. But as quick as I was, two droplets of blood fell onto his bare palm, much to my horror. But God is great, he missed that too!!! (It was at night).

Safe (err.. unsafe rather) to say, I needed extra medical attention that night but I didn’t seek it. I could have easily earned some stitches and a few days of medical break from work, but I wasn’t going to be blamed for tarnishing a… hold your breath… 20-year LTI-free record! (and the ensuing much coveted, albeit cheapo gifts!)

Like I said, unless someone died while working during working hours, and there’s no way on earth to prove that it wasn’t an LTI case, this number (LTI-free years) will keep on getting bigger. And as it gets bigger, people will be more and more petrified to be the one that breaks it.

Hence the vicious cycle of Lost Time Idiocy continues.

What Did You Have for Lunch?

Come March, I will complete 2 years in this location. To many, that’s not very long, but in my line of work (or specifically in the company I am working), it is pretty long. At least I feel so because as of now, I am the most senior resident expat in this location. I can only think of one other expat who has been here longer than I have. Everyone else came LATER.

For the same time period, I have been served free (well not free because my company pays for them) lunches. And for as long as I could remember, the food had always been BAD.

A former colleague who came 1 month before I did (he left 6 months later) said, “Dude, food here is worse than prison’s”. I immediately knew what he meant during my first week.

Another good friend refused to eat altogether. He claimed that he would have stomach problems if he took canteen’s food. He wasn’t overreacting. He really couldn’t take the food. As time passes, more and more join him on a no-canteen-food diet for the same reason.

Late in 2008, there was a massive, company-wide initiative to boycott the canteen. No one (except reluctant few) went to eat for full 2 weeks. There was some negotiation ensuing the incident and the food got marginally better for a week or two afterward before returning back to its sorry state of gastronomical nightmare.

The weird thing is, the same caterer serves food on board many offshore installations here as well as our other bases in neighboring countries (it is a Dubai-based company, if I say the name you might know it) but only in our canteen the food somehow turn out shitty.

My wife used to often ask me, “What did you have for lunch?” After letting a pause, my typical answers consist of generic food names such as rice, chicken, beef, lamb, vegetables, potatoes, soup, etc. The truth of the matter is, I really don’t know what I ate!

First I thought they were local food but when I asked the local people (and visited local restaurants here), the food served are NOT LOCAL! Even the locals don’t know what they are!!!

I must say that in general, I don’t like to complain about food, let alone free food. Where I came from, I was taught to eat a plate full of rice with just half of kepala ikan masin (salted fish head) and budu (fish sauce), nothing else. So I cherish and rarely waste any edibles that’s on my plate. And unlike some people I know, I can go anywhere around the world and not starve (not even lose weight) because I can eat pretty much anything (halal only of course). Well… except buckwheat (Russian: gretchka), which tastes like dirt (tanah).

But despite the above, I must say that the canteen food is BAD… very very BAD. I hope I will be transferred by year-end.